this is so gonna be a emo post. hehs. emo. what a word. but heck it.

its like 3.34am now. and i am feeling rather upset. or rather. uneasy probably. or just. sad. i still remember telling myself during the whole A level period that that's gonna be the toughest period that i have to get through. i mean. acadamically. and while working at ey. i felt that studying is a million times better than working. seriously. what was i thinking. i was even looking forward for school to start! but i guess i am terribly wrong. studying in uni is like 123456789 times stressful than its in jc. i can take 123456789 hrs to go through one tutorial . wtf ? wells. it seems like i am taking A level exam every other day. and not only that. there's loads of projects to be done. tons of tutorials and readings. and its only the start of the third week. i really hate uni life. but gah. its probably too early to say such things. but its like. i can feel so lost in uni sometimes. to the extent that i can completely dunno what to do. where to go. and its just so queer. no more spoon feeding . so independant. this is probably called stepping out of my comfort zone. and seems to me that there's no fixed friends. wells. of course i do have my closer friends. but yea. i still wish that its like jc. one fixed class. also in jc model answers are available. practically everywhere. not only that. i am learning completely new stuff over here. like okay, duh. but its like. so cheammm and everything. and you know whats the best part? everyone's so smart over here that i feel totally inferior and demoralised. its like. i duno. they can be so smart. hardworking. and have time to fool around too. they must really balance their time real well man. if not. it means that i am plain stupid.aye seems that i will take forever to cope and get used to uni life. and i believe by the time i get used to it. it will be exams already. and the best thing is. every exam counts. dang. this is bad.

i will get used to it. i believe.

i wish i can turn back time. like two months ago. where i feel so free & happy. i mean. as compared to what i am feeling now. this feeling sucks. and i gotta wake up at 8 tmr to do project. great. and i still gotta read a 200 + page annual report of a company before i can go to my dreamland. how nice.

and abt hostel life. wells. the only good thing is that i am able to stay up much later than if i were to stay at home. which means more time for me to study also. but other than that. i still prefer staying at home. and of course there's the travelling issue. but then again. oh wells. common toilet really is totally yucky. insects flying everywhere. cant even get to feel a tad better when i need to go to the toilet. but then again. thats not really the main point. i just miss my bed. and tv. and. i dunno. and probably. everything else.

i am sad. haha. i probably need to sleep now and everything will be fine tmr morning. especially if i manage to wake up earlier to get breakfast at macs. hehs. (:

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Feel out of place and out of time
I think im gonna lose my mind

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off i go. study

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